Gifts from fans.

As many of you may know, I highly encourage gift giving,
especially when it's you giving gifts to me.
Here are a few of the gems I've recieved over the years.
And also some real crap.
G

A Mini Angus.

See? Looks just like me.

This is a dead doll I've named Isabella, and "The Thing That Goes SQUEE."
Both sent by Mike Drake, who works in a porno shop in New Jersey.

A Wicked Woman doll made by a talented, but apparently very bored woman named Bev Gelfand.
It's beautiful and all velvety! Let me know if you want to come over and touch it.

And this is the drawing she worked from to make the doll above.

The wonderfully decadent people at Living Dead Dolls, named one of their 2005 line after me!
This here is Angus Litilrott.
Of course they asked permission first. (As if I'd say NO.)
Angus comes in a coffin with one of four different heads, each appropriately covered in a burlap sack.
It's up to the fates which head you get.

I like the hook hand.

My fucking pig bit the coffin. See?

Is this the shittiest piece of crap you've ever seen or what?
It was made by a lovely girl I know named Kim. She named it "Crappy Kim."
Kim, I love it. And did not throw it away immediatley upon recieving it.
(Note the poo smeared in the crotch.)

Somebody made this for me.
His name is Walleed.
Walleed's mouth fell off and I can't find it.

You may have noticed that nearly every one of the gifts above are dolls.
I am not a girl, nor have I ever been one.
(Okay, once. But it was Halloween & I was eight.)
I'm not sure why dolls seem to be the gift of choice.
Look, it's not like I'm saying I don't appreciate these, but really... DOLLS?

Okay, now those are the gifts I've recieved.
Can we now talk about the gifts I truly desire?

BABY KERMITS!
I've got over 200 of them and I want more!

Please send Baby Kermits
and other extraordinary gifts to:

Angus Oblong.
14320 Ventura Blvd. #168.
Sherman Oaks, California.
91423.

Unless you don't want to.
Then don't.
I really don't care.